its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize