You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
