This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
