Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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