after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
