I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
