Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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