four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
