i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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