tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
