Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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