she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
