like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
