No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
