I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
