hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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