we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
