Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
