Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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