Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
