we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
