the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
