marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
