I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
