We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
