big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
