i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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