It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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