But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
