i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
