Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Life is so much better after having sex.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
