I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
