And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
