I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize