so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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