Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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