she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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