By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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