Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
