love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
