update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
