The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
