Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
