Who wears a wallet chain?!
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
