I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
