Sry I called you an 8
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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