she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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