new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
