I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I didn't notice because vodka
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
