just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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