another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
