i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
