I never want to see another naked old woman again.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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