Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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