At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
