Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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What drink are we having for lunch?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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