I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
