so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
