Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
barbara walters just said penis...
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
is it fun? or sober?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
