I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
