I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I have post one night stand depression
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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