in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize