saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
