DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
