i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
