Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
