Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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