Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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