she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
