I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Your penis caused this!
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