That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
