We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
