Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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